确定主干：汉译英的重要技巧(2)
文章出处： 发布时间：2006-07-09
参考译文：Feeling like being deposed into a cold palace, I began to taste the bitterness of depression and frustration immediately after I was segregated and confined in a small house on a hillside in our garden.
汉语原句有“四节”，哪一部分应该成为英句之“主干”？“我顿感打入冷宫”，还是“十分郁郁不得志起来”？学译都把“我顿感打入冷宫”处理为“主干”，而参考译文则反其道而行之。细细分析，“十分郁郁不得志起来”和“我顿感打入冷宫”，两者也有主次关系。显然，“十分郁郁不得志起来”为主，“我顿感打入冷宫”为次。两者之间，不仅存在时间先后的顺序，而且还存在着逻辑上的“因果”。因此，参考译文处理得当。另一个值得参考之处在于：“主干”（I began to taste the bitterness of depression and frustration）的前后均有附加成分，句子显出“平衡美”。
3. 一个春天的傍晚，园中百花怒放，父母在园中设宴，一时宾客云集，笑语四溢。
学译：At one dusk in spring, flowers were blooming wildly in the garden, my parents were holding a banquet, in which guests were gathering, laughters could be heard everywhere.
学译：On a spring evening, hundreds of flowers were in full bloom in the garden where my parents hosted a banquet. For a while, guests gathered in large number, laughing and talking, which could be heard clearly.
参考译文：On a spring evening, my parents gave a banquet in the garden where a profusion of flowers were in full bloom. In no time, a crowd of their guests collected and laughter was heard all over there.
汉语原句的“节数”增加到“五节”。译成英语，仍应确定正确的“主干”，两个“学译”不谋而合，将“园中百花怒放”， 而不是“父母在园中设宴”作为“主干”来处理。读来，给人一种观比萨斜塔的感觉。相比之下，参考译文则给人一种美感，散发出浓郁的英语味?
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